Friday, January 4, 2008

Things that People Say

Here's a run-down of the common things I hear from people when they view my photos. They are followed with my thoughts.

Now, please understand that I understand why and where these comments come from. My thoughts are meant just to be humerous. The irony is that I'd be making comments just like these if I did not have the photography experience that I have :-)

You must have a really nice camera.
(Hell, you should see my stove. It makes some damn good food!)

You have a really good eye.
(No, I have two semi-good eyes. I passed my last eye exam with corrective lenses.)

You should sell your photos.
(Where, Wal-Mart? The world is inundated with billions photos from millions of camera-toting amatuers. Chances are that any images I submit to publication x won't even be looked at by human eyes. And when was the last time you went out and bought a landscape or nature photo? I mean a nice, large print in a nice frame to hang on your wall. Yeah, no is the answer. Think about it...)

Are you a professional?
(Yes. There, I said it. No, I don't earn a living from photography. But I think I'm to a point where my photos are on a level that most people categorize as averagely pro.)

How much did that camera cost?
(What does that have to do with anything? None of your f'n business. What'd your boob job cost?)

Can you shoot my friend's wedding?
(Oh, the agony. Freakin' hell NO. If you really knew what wedding photogs go through, you'd think cleaning gas station restrooms was a fun job. If your friend wants decent photos of her wedding, then she'll have to pay for a good photog. Quadruple digits, people.)

Wow, that lens is huge! You must be compensating for something.
(Um, no. The lens is huge because that's what it takes to do the job. It's a tool, not a play toy. It's a working piece of equipment that gets hauled out into the field and subjected to heat, cold, rain, my dripping sweat, dirt, and hard knocks. It is not a status symbol nor an object to collect dust and hold down papers on my desk.)

What kinda camera is that?
(It's a digital single lens reflex optical-electric device with a lithium-ion battery, bayer pattern sensor, 9 contrast-based focus sensors, bayonet-style lens mount, magnesium chassis, and a smokin' data processing engine that can put 10 - 20 megabytes of photos onto the memory card within a few seconds. Whew, wait, there's more... Basically, it's just a black box that makes clicky sounds and records images.)

Wow, one day I gotta get me a nice camera like that.
(Yessir, you got it. And THEN you'll take amazing professional-quality photos worthy of the cover of National Geographic. Having a "nice" camera will also qualify you to shoot people's weddings and charge 100's of dollars. And you'll most definitely impress all the parents when you lug the big zoom to your kid's soccer game - or they'll think you're a perv. and ask you to leave.)

Awesome photo! You have a great camera.
(Thanks! Yeh, it's freakin' sweet. I just lug the thing out there and press a button. Easy as pie. It apparently has nothing to do with the years of shooting experience I have, or the books/magazines/articles that I read and study regularly, or the classes, workshops, discussions, etc. that I've been through. Seriously, aside from the experience I have, the photo you're seeing probably is a result of taking time off work, packing many pounds of expensive equipment to a remote location, sweating/freezing/banging/hurting/etc. my balls off getting to location X, taking thousands of photos, missing breakfast or dinner, neglecting or pissing off my friends or family because of being where I need to be at the right time, sifting through the thousands of photos I took, editing them, making test prints, and having a computer and software that's up to date and capable of handing all the processing.)

1 comment:

  1. Okay, apparently some people got the wrong idea about this. I got a good laugh when I was told I have anger mangement issues :-) Let's get the record straight: this was written mostly for fun. Like I said, if the tables were reversed, I'd be asking the same, exact questions myself! That is the irony of it all.

    Now, what camera do YOU have?

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